Real Estate Agents Pledge
Posted by Goody on 05/19/08 in Business
Everyone knows the guy, the “old school real estate agent”. He complains all the time business is bad and the market is down, that is until talking with another agent, when suddenly the market is booming and business has never been better!
Evolution has left this person stranded in 80’s technology with 80’s techniques and unfortunately 80’s business attire. Talking to one of these “old school real estate agents” is like a bad replay of a Zig Ziglar or John Hopkins sales course, they have all the glib responses, but are totally missing the concept of real estate today.
These same people are waiting alongside their office windows, waiting for people to look at property being advertised, to quickly net any unsuspecting person who happens to do so, with - “can i help you with anything?” or “are you looking at buying?”.
They don’t realise yet that their property windows are being displayed on the internet around the world. People are scanning property from their PC or Mac (even PDA and IPOD) rather than visiting traditional real estate shop fronts. No wonder they believe business is bad.
In dedication to this relic of a bygone era i have created the real estate agents pledge.
In days of old,
when property was gold,
and the internet was not invented.
Auctions i am told,
Was how property was sold,
and property owners tormented.
Vendors were benders,
We can organise lenders,
This an agent did speak.
Whilst buyers are liars,
We would put out our flyers,
Telling how good we are, each week.
Newspaper advertising works,
They provide rebates and perks,
The owner did not know any better.
With big spreads off the shelf,
We promoted ourself,
As the vendor became a debtor.
Now the internet looms,
Amidst property busts and booms,
It still won’t make a difference.
I will use the old techniques,
With just a few tweaks,
My strength is my belligerence.
I have worked in this industry,
25 years is my longevity,
I’ll say what ever i need.
To sell your house - roll the dice,
I can’t guarantee price,
But commissions will satisfy greed.
Now private sellers are appearing,
It’s kind of endearing,
But they can’t negotiate like me.
Cause after 25 years,
Extracting money for my career,
I’m the best they can see.
So if you are buying or selling,
Land or a dwelling,
I’m the one you crave.
So regardless what you read,
I’m the agent you need,
Ignore the thousands of dollars you could save.
Don’t be silly i say,
Did you see my ad the other day,
It shows you just how much i have sold.
But really i must go,
Open homes i have to show,
New buyers who need to be told.
Forget all the rest,
I am the best,
I’m the agent from days of old.
You all know who i am
I’m the master conman
I’m the agent from days of old.
Michael Eroz
Property Analyst (and satirist)
www.zeroagents.com.au
Tags: FSBO, property, real estate
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