Hearing Loss - How I Hear With My Hearing Aids
Posted by Goody on 04/28/08 in Health and Fitness
Have you heard some of the horror stories about wearing hearing aids. I hope that after reading this article, you will not be afraid. I was born with a severe hearing loss and started wearing one behind-the-ear hearing aid when I started Grade 5. I did so well that my parents got me a second hearing aid before starting Grade 6. Growing up with a hearing loss, I was painfully shy and very self-conscious of not hearing as well as my parents or friends. At that time, people either spoke to me funny by over-articulating their words. The other thing people did when I was younger; they ignored me and spoke to my parents about me. I became invisible to the family and friends that I grew up around.
I couldn’t wait until I finished high school. I lived for the day when I could get a job and live on my own. I got a job in a law firm while I was still in Grade 12. I stamped all the outgoing mail, wrote up bank deposits before taking them to the Bank, and then went to the post office with all the mail. I loved it!!! It was something that I was good at; people were often telling me “Done already, I’ll have to find something else for you to do!” My self-esteem got a much needed positive jolt! When I finished high school in June, they wanted me to stay on and offered me a job full-time. I was so happy, I finally found something that I was good at and my hearing didn’t matter.
One the challenges for the hearing impaired is to be assertive about our hearing loss and our communication needs. We are not always eager to distinguish ourselves and may feel that we are a “nuisance” to others. Change your perspective … by asking the speaker to repeat shows that you are interested in what he/she has to say. Focusing on the speaker takes a little of the focus off you and perhaps you won’t feel so self-conscious. A lot of solving communication needs is done by simply telling others what the problem is, and what needs to be done so you can hear and participate. Many times I’ve had people tell me that they were flattered that I was so interested in what they had to say that they forgot that it was because I was hard of hearing that I was asking them to repeat themselves.
Too many times, I tell people that I am hard of hearing and they become “frozen with obvious discomfort” and they start speaking very loudly and over-enunciating their words to me while before they “knew”, they spoke to me normally. It used to really hurt my feelings and I would have a “flashback” to my childhood…..I would wonder why they are suddenly talking to me that way, but now I realize that they are trying to be helpful and after a while, they do forget and start talking to me normally again.
My first rule for my family and friends is to be sure that I am looking at them when they speak to me. If I am not, they must get my attention first before speaking, otherwise I will miss what they said and they will have to repeat.
Hearing people assume that because I wear two hearing aids that I hear what they hear. They are very surprised when I tell them what I do hear (it is not the same as what they hear) and how important it is that I can see their face to understand what they are saying. When they see how much effort I am putting in to hear them, they understand how important seeing their face is.
We need to get over our “shyness” or “awkwardness” about asking for help. Where did we learn that it was not OK to ask for help! You need to tell the speaker that you don’t hear very well so he needs to speak a little slower and clearly and to face you. Tell the speaker about the handicap of a hearing loss and let him know that help is needed. Most people would be pleased to assist you in anyway that they can. By being proactive, two things can happen. One, you get help in being able to hear the speaker a little better. Two, the speaker is pleased that you want to hear what he has to say. Isn’t communication great when both sides understand each other?
One of the biggest things that I kept thinking is that people know I have a hearing loss so why don’t they understand that they have to face me when they are speaking? I have learned over the years that people just forget. Usually all I have to is ask “Pardon me” and they are reminded. I had to learn that it was up to me to ask for help when it comes to my hearing. Until I tell people otherwise, they are going to assume that I am hearing what they hear.
Realistically it is not fair to assume that they know what you are hearing and what you are not hearing. It is up to you to “teach” everyone in your world how best to communicate with you. To sit across from me at the kitchen table or to sit beside me at the chesterfield will be most appreciated so that I can relax and enjoy the conversation. It is your responsibility to tell the speaker that you missed the first word. You can say “I missed the first word” and the speaker will understand that he needed to get your attention before speaking. If people see that you are looking at them, you are probably paying attention and will hear them easily.
If you say “You’re mumbling again”, you are accusing the speaker of doing something wrong. No-one likes being “made wrong”. You would be making a negative and critical response. A better response would be “I missed your first few words, the dog was barking”. This explains to the speaker why you didn’t hear so he will stop talking if the dog starts barking again.
We (who are hard of hearing) need to describe to our hearing friends and families what we do hear and what we don’t hear. I often have to step outside of my comfort zone and admit that I don’t hear what they hear. When they describe what they hear and then when I admit that “I don’t hear that”, they are often surprised. For a hearing person, it is difficult to understand how I can get by in a hearing world when they take for granted their ability to hear. By explaining my problems in hearing, I help to educate and raise awareness for the people in my world. I need to have people understand why it “appears” that I do alright, when in fact I am just more aware of my surroundings that the average hearing person.
You are still the same person with or without your hearing. Make the best of your life situation!
Val Bedard has a profound hearing loss since birth. She owns her own business Hear Well Services Ltd. (http://www.hearwell.ca), sells assistive listening devices for the hearing impaired, can be reached via email at info@hearwell.ca or by telephone at 1-888-549-2092.
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