Whats With The Games? Do People Really Play Hard To Get?
Posted by Goody on 05/13/08 in Health and Fitness
Is it really true? Do people still play ‘hard to get’? Are head games still being played to lure a man (or woman, for that matter)? It’s such a curious thing to me, and it’s got nothing to do with my age, or my gender or even that I don’t ‘date’. It’s got more to do with my surprise that, in today’s society, with so much attention to self-empowerment and personal growth, there are still people who play these games. And it makes me curious.
When I was a teenager, I had lots of girlfriends who played that ‘hard to get’ thing. They’d plot and plan and use all sorts of innocent bystanders to mess with the head of whatever guy they were interested in. I saw other young men, who had no idea what was going on, being used as “decoys” to get the target’s attention. These young women were pretty ruthless, never giving a thought to who they might be hurting in the process of their little games. It horrified me then, and it still does. I just don’t understand the logic (maybe because there is none!).
I was, back then, a bit of a tomboy. I had more close guy friends than I did girlfriends and I think it was because I could relate to them better. I liked the things they did for fun; things like water skiing or riding horses or shooting pool. The girls were always sitting at someone’s house, doing their nails and TALKING about boys. That seemed so boring to me, so I could be found WITH the boys, doing the fun stuff they did. I was the “little sister” and I enjoyed that tremendously. Plus, I had all these guys who confided in me, who loved me and who didn’t play stupid games with me because they knew I wasn’t having it. And, no, it wasn’t because I was “unattractive”. It was, simply, because I wasn’t interested in having a “steady” or anything remotely close to it. I was a TEENAGER. I wanted to play and laugh and have fun, not be restricted (which is what most of the so-called “couples” seemed to be).
Anyway, the point is, I never did play head games and it turned out that I had much better relationships with the guys than the gals who DID play those games. And, after I moved out of my parents’ house and went out to build my life, I remained utterly convinced that being true to myself, and avoiding head games was the only way I could live happily. Even though I didn’t have a “boyfriend” in High School, it was clearly because I’d chosen to wait until I was emotionally ready for that. And when I did meet the man with whom I’d spend the next 6 years, there was never any doubt in his mind that honesty was my policy, even if it was, at times, brutal honesty. Sure, there were moments when he might have preferred a “little white lie”, but I wasn’t willing to stretch any of my truths to make him feel better. And when we parted company, we parted as friends. Truth had been the foundation of that relationship, and truth remained when we chose to go our separate ways.
To this day, I have seen many people go through countless, avoidable heartaches due to their inability or unwillingness to be true to themselves. I’ve seen women agonize over the silliest things, from getting a ‘boob job’ to changing their wardrobe in order to “keep a man”. And when it was all said and done, even after making their changes to make HIM happy, he always ended up leaving anyway. Was it because she didn’t stick to her guns? Is it possible that men really do want us to be who we are? Is it possible that the ONLY way to gain the respect of others is to have unflinching respect for ourselves?
These are questions I pose to you, dear reader, because if even just one person sees something here that will empower you to be YOUR best person, then my meanderings have been successful. I wish all of you the courage to wear your skin proudly, to honor your Self, to live the joy of being WHO you are, without exception. It’s a marvelous way to live (and SO much easier!) Seize the moments of your life…and “to thine own self be True”.
Camille Strate is an author, empowerment coach and critter-keeper who has spent her the last several years in search of the perfect pasture. She is a staunch believer in the “paying it forward” and lives by the mantra “do what you love and the money will follow”. Marketing Personal Development products is one of her passions. She loves seeing other people empower themselves and find their true paths. Her latest book, “Whispers” will be released sometime in Spring of 2008. Visit her personal site at http://www.joyzachoice.com and her business site at http://www.genuineintentions.com
Tags: being coy, deception, games, head games, honesty, relationship games, relationships, teasing, truth
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