To Goal Or Not To Goal - Part 2
Posted by Goody on 02/27/08 in Self Improvement
I was conducting a workshop on boundaries and standards and as usual I learned a lot from my participants. It inspired an interesting train of thought in my mind, created new neuron networks. We had gone over standards first, sharing my thoughts on the concepts defining standards.
- They are expectations you set for yourself on how you behave, think and act. They are the guidelines you hold yourself accountable to.
- Only YOU know what they are and no one can impose their standards on you. If they DO then they are crossing your boundaries.
- If they are all the expectations you have about yourself then essentially they make up and present to the outside world, just who you are.
- Standards guide you in your daily life.
- With standards relationships are always more important than results.
- Standards are flexible with time and situation. They may change as you get older or the people you surround yourself with.
- They are always open for change, improvement and exploration.
- The benefits of having strong and realistic standards are: things stop just “happening” to you and you have more control over your life. You are willing to tolerate less and you feel confident and satisfied. Everything that comes out of your mouth is unconditionally constructive.
The benefits make, exploring your standards, a worthwhile effort. These benefits can arise from exploring and analyzing your standards in your relationships, personal well being: physical, mental and even spiritual. I tend to break down the areas of my life by personal relationships, professional relationships, intellectual pursuits, my business, my family… well you may have your own outline of areas to explore. So what made me make a connection to goals? Well, standards are about relationships not results. I have been sure, most of my life, that if I have people, I love, care and respect, in my life most things will take care of themselves.
I use my priorities with my relationships to guide my choices for directions my life is to take. However if I have strong standards I am confident, satisfied, tolerate less so I can create what I say is most important to me. I know that if my mind is free of worry and I am focused about what IS most important to me then I can keep a look-out for opportunities to move forward in my life. I have my daily things I like to do. I have my relationships that surround me to guide my choices of what I do and think or the way I behave. The bonus is that because I’m sure, clear and focused I attract a great many people into my life and at just the right time in my life. I also know that if I’m not happy with the end result of my choice then it is because there is something I can learn from what I am experiencing. If I believe this, which I do, then each experience is “colored” by my perception of what it is I can glean from this.
So I ask you: what would be the purpose of making a goal? Are goals not result-orientated? Are goals to move me towards success? If being happy, satisfied, confident, clear, focused and open to new experiences is what success is all about am I not already successful? Am I not moving forward in my life? Right now my standards for today are, “Do what shows ups on your plate today.”Than means writing this article because it was on my mind and meeting my son at the Farmers Market. He made a point of coming to me and telling me the exciting things he was going to do today before going off to school. Do you think it was an opportunity he was handing to me? I certainly do. It made me realize the gift I would be giving him. Relationships not results is the legacy I will leave to him.
Maureen Miller B.Ed., C.U.G.,
Associate Certified Coach
Certified Teleclass Leader
Coaching Personally
http://www.squidoo.com/ThinkingRevolution
http://THinkingREvolution.blogspot.com
Vancouver Island, B.C. Canada
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Tags: accountability, boundaries, Goals, legacy, standards
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