Overcoming A Colossal Setback

Posted on March 20, 2008 - Filed Under Self Improvement

Beaten, Kicked, Stomped, Betrayed, and Left for Dead…

And Other Sundry Affects -

YET STILL STANDING!

Beaten

Have you ever been there? Can you relate to a time in your life, perhaps even now, where it seems that no matter what you do things just don’t seem to be working in your favor? Is hope, that eternal precious elixir dried up within you?

Have you lost everything conceivable that could be lost, like?

Your Self Respect
Your Self Confidence
Your Titles & Sense of Accomplishment
Your Income Stream and all that comes along with it
Your Career Path
Your Once Special Intimacy with your Spouse
Your Sense of Well Being
Your Internal Joy
Your Passion for Life
Your Strongest Ally
Your Expectation of Winning
Your Once Dependable Personal Character and Integrity

Stripped of all of it, the moxie, the dreams, and your stature. You feel cast down, are spoken ill of, wretched.

And you begin to beat yourself up. Your once positive affirming self talk begins to become peppered with negative images and statements about yourself. As confidence wanes, the negative banter increases. The once dependable ability to rally yourself to the new challenge begins to dissipate. In its place you begin to do things to satisfy even momentarily your need to be and belong that you had long since discarded. Old thoughts and habits arise again both to allure and titillate, but offer nothing but a temporary distraction followed by self loathing.

So, the act of being Beaten is SELF AFFLICTED. Can you relate? It is a cesspool, a bottomless pit. It truly has no downward limit, as if you continue to allow yourself to sink into it, you will ultimately not be able to come back.

KICKED

Then those around you begin to pull away from you since your once magnetic personality has dwindled to the point where an upbeat mood is a rarity. You begin to sense deep inside your belly a rage, and underlying current of turbulence that surprises even you with its ferocity. Fortunately it does not rear its ugly head too often, but the potential for it is there nonetheless. If your predicament has caused you to lose the ability to supply support to your family, friends, or on the job as before, at some point some people will begin to harbor ill feelings towards you. They might be the very closest, most important people in your life too. Their resentment will surface enough at times for you to understand the signals and what they really mean. This will cause you to have stunningly fresh realizations about the people closest to you. And it will not be positive. The slow but discernible change in their demeanor towards you will cause you to feel like you have been kicked while you were down. However, they will not see it that way. In fact they will likely never see it that way, since as you are focused on your pain, they are focused on theirs. You understand it, but you don’t understand it.

So the act of being KICKED is when those closest to you, those you love, turn their backs on you, kicking you while you are down in the process. Can you relate?

Stomped

Being stomped is when while you are down, at least partially alone and abandoned, the enemy of all men’s souls’ shows up with his diatribe of lies, fears, confusions, and delusions. Like a vulture gnawing away at a carcass it did not cause to fall, the enemy comes along at your weakest point and attempts to inflict maximum pain to the weakened person.

His breath creates darkness too. He breathes in your air of life and hope and exhales a mist that disperses darkness into your surroundings that manifests itself in all sorts of maladies and woes, all within the framework of your mind. Linger too long at his fountain and you will become paralyzed with fear, and lose the ability to think clearly and concisely. You will find yourself chasing fantasies until you realize you have been deluded.

So the act of being STOMPED is when the enemy of all mankind, the devil, comes along and attempts to make you his prey, lustily plotting your demise and total annihilation. Can you relate?

Betrayed

Who was it that turned their back on you that you did not believe ever would, even in a million years? Probably someone very close and trusted, and that is why it hurts so much. You never dreamed it would happen, but it did. It also can come from many others - associates, friends, casual acquaintances, co-workers. To them, you have let them down, or did not fulfill some expectation. Rather than work with you to find some place of understanding and reconciliation, they turn their back on you. They reject you to your face and deride you behind your back. They may also betray you since it is expedient for them to do so. Maybe you are a pariah. Or maybe lining up with you will take courage, and that is not in their vocabulary. You may even think that God has betrayed you too, because your sense of His presence in your life has left. There is little beauty, little reflection of the good apparent to you. When your strongest ally rejects you - well, it simply is a sobering moment in your life. The wound caused will heal one day, but the scar will never go away. In the creases of your mind its memory is indelible. That person you could always count on, always…has turned their back on you.

So the act of being Betrayed is when those people closest to you turn their backs on you, justifying their actions due to the fact that you did not fulfill an expectation, or that it is expedient to their needs to do so.

Left for Dead

Being left for dead is when others live their lives with nary a thought of you any longer. Once you had been in the center of their lives, now you are on the periphery, far away from the former place of respect and care. Indifference is the polite word for it, but it is palpable. You sense it in a hundred different ways, at a hundred moments in time. It is subtle no doubt - but it is there and you know it.

Of course, you could be imagining it too, but the proof is in the pudding. As someone once said, “If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, guess what? It’s a duck.”
Left for dead is precarious at best, since now you will have to summon strength from somewhere within yourself or guess what? You will be left there. No one will make the effort to pull you out, and even if they wanted to -

Here is the truth:

They Cannot Do It Anyways! Only you can lift yourself out of the death spiral! Left to yourself, and if you do not act quickly, you will begin to experience the effects of a slowly growing rigor mortis, a slide off into the land of sullenness, despair, and depression. Once you visit that bleak landscape, you are virtually doomed. And you are alone.

So being Left for Dead is when others around you go on with their lives with nary a thought of you. You are now on the periphery, and can sense palpably the indifference that is directed at you. Heads do not turn when you enter the room anymore. Space is not reserved. The former thousand little reminders of respect and care are subsiding daily, and you know it. You have been left for dead.

YET STILL STANDING!

Ok, OK, OK…Yes! All of that happened to you. All of it with all the pain, heartache, sense of loss, sense of being alone and rejected, etcetera, etcetera.

So, what are you going to do about it now?

If you have sat there, and many of you have done this, nodding your heads in agreement with me - signaling the fact that you have gone through it or are going through it now, I ask you again - What are you going to do about it now?

Are you going to work to lift yourself out of the death spiral, or succumb to its cold clammy claws? If you do not move - you will stagnate and remain there. Remember rigor mortis.

Or will you claw out, but allow yourself to lose a step - to become jaded and harsh. Will you allow a new appendage to emanate from within your inner person that is cold, callous, bitter, and devoid of light? Will you?

Or maybe you think that this is unique to you, that you of all mankind since the beginning have suffered the most, being subject to all the descriptors above. Consequently, you may foolishly feel that you are owed something, something in retribution for all your loss and suffering.

Guess what; you are not alone in your loss, and know what you are owed?

Nothing.

YET STILL STANDING!

This is where we must be - still standing in spite of it all! It is the only place to be, since if you do stand you will BE. And that is worth everything.

Please consider this:
This life that you lead, the experiences you have had and will have, guess what…this life you have,

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

You are not here for you anymore than I am here for me. Do you understand that? Life is not about you. Your reason for being on this earth now is not simply for your self fulfillment and enjoyment. You are here for reasons much deeper, with clear spiritual underpinnings that transcend the terrestrial. In light of that, we cannot afford to keep our gaze fixed on ourselves. It must be fixed outwardly to the world around us, to the people in our lives regardless of their treatment of us, and with a deep sense of the fact that there is a creator out there, who just might be trying to reach us now in this time of duress.

The winners in life stand.

No it is not Hollywood, star athletes, politicians, or celebrities. It is those who STILL STAND in spite of it all, against all the odds. They are the winners in life.

How Can We Remain Standing?

Today in America, one can resource a thousand different practices and belief systems with which one is promised success, prosperity, and the ability to endure hardship. Like you, I have checked many of them out, from the Law of Attraction, to Discovering Your Inner Self, Positive Thinking, Chanting Affirmations, Visualization, etc. to name a few. The exposure to them left me wanting. They did not satisfy my particular need. I was looking for something more solid, more tested, more congruent with my own beliefs, and those types of things just did not fit comfortably. Many of them refer to universal ‘laws’, or that the ‘universe’ would supply something since we asked for it, believed in it, or followed a set of rules to dislodge what was sought for. I thought about that term so often used, ‘universe’, and decided that was not adequate for me. I could not think and believe in simply ‘universe’. I could think of and believe in ‘God’, especially a personal, interested, loving, and kind God. So I decided to revisit those faith origins I was familiar with and see what they had to say about my condition.

While not in vogue to some, I am going to draw from the deep wells that helped shaped the founding of this country so long ago, and led to its unparalleled success. These same values are at work all across the world today. My study of them has led me to where I can now build the case for how you can stand and continue to stand with confidence in spite of whatever you are facing. If the principles embodied in the oft used phrase “Judeo-Christian values” are an anathema to you, then stop reading right now. I make no excuse for it. My study has shown me that many, many, bricks have been removed from the foundation this nation was built on. Those bricks were once a familiar part of everyday life across the nation, and were treated with the necessary respect and honor they deserved. Today, I hope to put a few back.

As I look back over the stressed filled period I experienced that led to this writing, I recall that all along I was reminded of something Jesus said: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”.

That simple, but powerful verse was the difference between caving and hanging on for me. Sure, there were many others, but the simple, succinct reality that I would not be forsaken by my God did enable me to survive the situation, even as it dragged on and on. I had faith in it. I believed the source of the verse as much as I believed in the content of the verse itself. It became truth to me - a principle that I could hang my hat on. I realized that no matter how bad things got, or how alone I may have felt, I never really was alone since He was always with me. Which leads me to this:

We must learn to stand alone with our God and thrive. There will come times in your life when you will have no choice but to do so. I had to learn to trust in God and His love and care for me, as you do too. Additionally, I had to trust that His intended outcome for my life is good, as well as you do in spite of the dire circumstances we face, or we will fold. It is that simple. Faith or fold.

I think of George Washington, having led the Colonial Army across New Jersey in November 1776, an army soundly defeated by the British at New York and Fort Lee, an army reduced to around 2400, and low in equipment, ammo, food, many with no shoes. What made him continue to lead? Why did they stay? Study it and you find a common truth. They had faith in the justness of their cause, their leaders, each other, and over all an abiding faith in God to help them.

Consider Abraham Lincoln, presiding over the presidency as the nation was ripped apart. Many were hounding at him from all sides with derogatory insults, threats, betrayals, failures, and gloomy predictions. His personal relationship with God was the primary reason why he endured. Study his speeches. Read his journals. You will be amazed.

Consider Churchill, who said, “I expect that the Battle of Britain is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Christian civilization. …”

Further he said, “… Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. Arm yourselves, and be ye men of valour, We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender! Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was their finest hour. We are still masters of our fate. We are still captain of our souls. Never give in–never, never, never, never, … Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

The Normandy Invasion - I have often thought of what enabled those young men to step of the landing craft into the line of sight of German machine gunners up the cliffs. Where does an 18 year old from Iowa get the courage to face death?

Courage and heroism has occurred in many other conflicts, and just out of respect to those who fell or were injured I mention Korea, Vietnam, the Marine Barracks in Beirut, the Persian Gulf War, the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, a grassy field in Pennsylvania, Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. The list goes on.

Were all practicing Christians? No. But faith played a huge part in them summoning the will and the courage to face what they had to endure.

So, why is it any different for us today when we face perilous times? Maybe a divorce is in the works and you don’t want that outcome. Maybe your home is in foreclosure, and fear grips your once peaceful abode. What will you do? Where will you turn?

I think of Paul the greatest writer of the new testament, writing of himself and his team, “For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts outside, fears within” Yet he continues his mission right to the point of death in Rome some years later.

Why? What makes some press on alone, managing the fears they have and the never ending difficulties they are experiencing. What makes them press on while so many cower and quit?

Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go the grave with the song still in them”. That speaks of mediocrity, and a life filled with regrets. It speaks of not being willing to fight the uphill battle of faith, even while alone. It takes faith to see your dream become reality. It takes faith to see your purpose fulfilled. It takes faith to see the relationships now tattered, renewed and stronger than before.

It also takes faith to see beyond the miasma of the moment to a bright new day - and further, to work with your creator to bring it to pass.

You must stand or you will never experience the Promised Land ahead of you.

Twelve spies were commissioned by Moses to go into the Promised Land and search it out prior to the people passing over the Jordan River to enter in themselves. For forty days they moved through the land and scoped it out from top to bottom. The day arrived and they all returned with their reports. Ten came back and said that the land did flow with milk and honey as promised by God, and even brought evidence. But then they went on to explain that there were giants in the land, people stronger than they, “and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”

Caleb and Joshua saw it differently, saying, “The land which we passed through to spy out is an exceedingly good land. If the LORD is pleased with us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us–a land which flows with milk and honey. Only do not rebel against the LORD; and do not fear the people of the land, for they will be our prey. Their protection has been removed from them, and the LORD is with us; do not fear them”.

The majority ruled - and the people of Israel wandered in the desert for forty years so that the entire generation that left Egypt died in the wilderness save two. Guess who? Caleb and Joshua were the only survivors.

So, God places a huge value on faith in Him and courage by us to carry out His plans for our lives. It does not matter whether we are alone or have 1000 team members equally committed to the common cause. We must remain standing in spite of all the rancor, name calling, and duress we may go through, and - move forward with courage.

So how do we remain standing? Because we believe that when Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”, He meant it. And since we know our lives are not only about us, then there is a greater purpose for us being here than we can see. And, we remain standing since we choose to operate with courage in spite of what is going on around us, and in spite of who may have turned their back on us. Why? Because we must. We will never get to our promised land if we do not. Never.

Lastly, we will also adopt the attitude that Jesus has when He said from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do”.

We will forgive each and every person no matter how close to us they are for whatever they may have done to us during this time. We will forgive, and let go of the pain. We will love them in spite of feelings, and wait if need be for the spark of spontaneous love to re-emerge. Until it does, we will choose to love them first.

Beaten, Kicked, Stomped, Betrayed, and Left for Dead - Yet Still Standing.

Still standing, since now we turn to God with the respect and honor He is due and ask for His forgiveness and His help. Still standing, since we now can act in faith towards God, knowing we will receive His goodness, kindness, and love. Still standing, since we know that He will never leave us nor forsake us, because He promised not to. And, still standing, since we acted with courage in spite of the present fear, and that we forgave and chose to love - regardless of how we believe we were treated.

That is the place of power. That is the place of victory. That is the pathway to remain standing.

Rich Chiero is a passionate speaker, teacher, and writer, whose first love is to inspire people to discover a personal relationship with the living God and His son Jesus Christ, and to live their lives to the full with that knowledge. He is also the president of Concord Growth Systems, a business development company, and its sister company, A Secure Family, which specializes in economical yet innovative business and family security services. He is the author of numerous articles, and booklets, the most recent being the book “Appointment With Angels.” That work chronicles his own experiences in the 3rd person from the early days in the counterculture through military service, and ultimately to a completely desperate situation with no way out for him. The account of his experiences from tragedy to triumph, with a visit into the supernatural realm in between, form the core message of the book.

Happily married to Tina, he lives in northern Illinois with their three children.

Please visit the websites at: http://www.globalimpactmission.com | http://www.concordgrowth.com | http://www.asecurefamily.com

Tags: courage, faith, faith in god, forgiveness, God, helps, overcoming, overcoming fail, setback, standing

Comments

Leave a Reply

Payonhealth.net